Archives for November 2017

A common theme for each Advent season is “our need to prepare ourselves” for the birth of Christ. This theme seems simple enough to understand, but in my experience even this theme, simple as it ought to be, can get lost in a maze of alternative ways of thinking. We may blame others, finding reasons why “they” should change. We may get lost in political thoughts. We may shrug all reflections off with the thought of “the world is the way it is and nothing will change it. We may not reflect at all, ending up more concerned with our next task of the day.

Allow me to suggest, perhaps the mind reacts in this way simply to avoid looking at its own responsibility to change. It is just like meditation. Try concentrating on one point, like one’s own breath, or perhaps the name of Jesus, and watch the mind struggle against your effort. Distractions will multiply amazingly, and all because the mind just does not like to be tamed. For this notable reason, any and all meditational schools, Christian or non-Christian, will recommend methods of dealing with the “monkey minds” that we have named such in honor of monkeys globally that just cannot stop flittering from branch to branch, cannot stop chattering, and so on. Some groups will advocate an ongoing discipline of meditation at the same time everyday, and for the same amount of time. When one notices the mind wandering, this school will say, gently bring the mind back to the point of concentration. Other schools will refute such a need to discipline in this fashion, recommending instead the need to cultivate a “watchful awareness,” here simply watching the mind do its thing, as if one’s awareness were separate from one’s mind. The simple ability to exhibit such watchfulness is often enough for the mind to settle down. In either case, one has to do something!

One cannot simply allow one’s mind to have the last word. It is said that the mind is an excellent servant but a lousy master. Ask any participant in a 12 step program. The common sense there is to realize first that one is addicted, and then to further realize that my admitted addiction is the result of my best efforts. The concluding thought is typically, “I can’t, He can, let Him.” This too, is a way of bringing the mind into some sort of balance, and not allowing it to dictate to me how to live in this world. Great servant! Lousy master!

So, expect the mind to react in a similar way toward any suggestion that one ought to prepare for the birth of Christ this year. It will initially agree, and then find reasons why it does not have to- or should not have to. And, just like in any meditational effort, one has to choose to be the master, and not let the mind win out. What one must bring one’s mind back to, in this context, is personal responsibility. I am judged alone before the throne of God, and it is “I” who needs to change, first and foremost. The only question left is “how?” One good place to start is consumerism. Our lust for buying, our need to evaluate the world and our reaction to it and to each other by means of finances is strong. Such questions as, “is this worth the money?” has limited meaning in any spiritual context. There is some value, I admit, in asking such a question. But when we use such a question to not help another, to not be charitable, then we miss the point of Christ who throughout Scripture begs us to love each other and to help each other. Consumerism to the extreme can act like acid on our souls. Do we really need all the things we buy? One can be addicted to buying, and discover to our horror that the 12 step program is just as applicable here as to drinking.

Isn’t that amazing?

For Christ to be born again in our hearts and in our world, we must be free to accept Him, and to be free means to not be addicted. It takes discipline to wrestle with such a question as what I am proposing in this essay, but then it is important to realize that discipline is foundational to our religion. It takes discipline to control our minds; it takes discipline to love; it takes discipline to be a Christian. By accepting the commitment to follow Christ sincerely, we finally find ourselves at the side of the crib, worshipping the newborn Christ-child.

Peace, Fr. Walter

I write a great deal about William Glasser, sure enough, but I would not want to imply that I’ve only been inspired by him and nobody else. For example, another person I have been inspired by has been Dr, Gerald May. He was a co-founder of a spiritual direction institute called “Shalem.” I attended this school for two years, upon which I became certified in Spiritual Direction. I first met him, interestingly enough, on a ward at a psychiatric hospital called Spring Grove, near Baltimore.

Gerry was a psychiatrist and that was a good place to practice. But he moved on, due to his passion for spiritual growth. Part of his “moving on” ended in a number of spiritual books he authored, such as “Will and Spirit,” “Care of Mind, Care of Spirit,” and “Addiction and Grace.” I read his book, “Will and Spirit,” while in the Shalem program. In this book Gerry places emphasis on being willing, rather than willful. Being willing becomes the best way to experience the Grace of God, in turn gently ushering one toward an attitude of surrendering to God. I cannot force myself to surrender. That is being willful. I cannot force God to do anything. But I can open my heart, by wanting to, by being willing to gently notice the Presence of God around and within. Let me share with you a section of a paper that I wrote for Gerry May while in his class.

“In retrospect, I know that when I began offering spiritual direction that I had no real method to follow, which caused me to simply follow my own instincts. As initial attempts go, some of my instincts were good and some were not. I found that I sometimes allowed myself to become a ‘problem solver’ by my directees in order to deal with current ills that they were experiencing. I allowed this state of affairs as I believed at the time that various issues needed to arise and be dealt with first, i.e. solved, before any in depth searching into prayer and God could take place. The possibility at least that this was a mistaken notion occurred to me when I noticed that the “problems” were not being solved. With this realization, the next step was to let my problem solving tendency fall away, upon which I noticed a distinct change in the relationship. In one specific relationship, I directly posed the question to my directee of what was being sought, God or a concrete answer to her problems. She admitted that later, but added that she did not feel that an answer was directly forthcoming. It frustrated her, especially that she believed that this problem (her current life situation) prevented her from developing a close relationship with God, which was why she gave such a high priority to finding a solution. It occurred to me that I had intensified her attachment to the schema by participating in the “search” for a solution. As a result of this insight, I posed another question to her as to how God could be found by her ‘within’ her situation. Could she allow God to be with her in her problems? She said ‘yes’ and for the first time since our initial meeting we discussed only God.”

The above account could be seen as a paradigm perhaps as to how we move through our lives, wanting God and yet simultaneously becoming distracted by just about everything else, in many cases confusing our attachments with God, Himself. By the gentle noticing displayed in my quote of my paper above, intending to be willing rather than willful, our growth with and within God’s Presence manifests with His in turn gentle Grace.

Dr. Gerald May died from cancer. He died as he lived, smiling and peaceful, surrendered to God, willing to allow God to be God, and to act in all things according to His Will. Rest in peace!

Peace, Fr. Walter

When the Pilgrims celebrated their first Thanksgiving in 1620, they were quite specific as to what they could be thankful about. One, they were alive. There was some serious concern as to whether any of them would, in fact, survive. Since one half of them died in the first winter. That’s not just a statistic; the one half involved family and friends, people who shared the danger together crossing the Atlantic. I state this way, as there seems to have been some confusion as to where they were even going. The original destination was Virginia, the only known English settlement. They ended up in Massachusetts. Close associations typically form among people who share dangers together. One half of these associations now ended. But there were survivors, all thanks to the Native Americans in that region. That is the second reason they were grateful.

The Pilgrims were frightened of the local natives, so much so that they would bury their dead secretly at night. They did this with the hope that it would not be noticed by potential hostile people how many losses had been suffered, thus revealing how weak they now were. An observation like this could leave them vulnerable to an attack. What happened in fact startled them unimaginably. A Native, originally from Maine simply walked in one day and said, “Welcome Englishman!” He had been brought to England and later was able to return to Maine, only to find his tribe decimated by disease. Having the ability to speak English, he could communicate with the pilgrims. He was their first new friend. He later introduced them to a local Native, who in turn introduced them to the local Chief. This second friend did even more than that. He taught them to hunt and plant, taking into account the local terrain and weather. The Pilgrims were safe; they could eat; they could survive. Yes, they were grateful, and showed how much they were by inviting the local natives to their feast.

Basically they were grateful because they were alive due to their new friends. Close associations allowed for this. We too can be grateful for the same. We can appreciate the health we have, along with that of our families. And we can take the time this year to appreciate our own friends. It remains true that health is not only that of the body, but that also of the mind. Having friendships nourishes our psychological and spiritual health.

There remains one more reason to be grateful, something else that we have in common with the Pilgrims. They had the freedom to worship their God. They did not have that freedom in England. They did try to practice their religion in Holland, but felt that this country offered an immoral and unethical witness to their children. In a proper, more godly way. In turn, we could easily take the time as well to be thankful that we can worship freely and in peace. And mindful of the Pilgrims’ desire to support each other spiritually, which powerfully motivated them to make a truly dangerous journey, we can be thankful for the insight of how important it is to offer a good witness to others, especially our children. We can do more actually than be a good witness, we can strive to be an inspiration! Aren’t the Pilgrims that for us today? Happy Thanksgiving!

Peace, Fr. Walter