Archives for May 2018

St. Augustine writes the following: “There we shall rest and we shall see. We shall see and we shall love. We shall love and we shall praise. Behold what shall be in the end and shall not end. For what other things is our end, but to come to that kingdom of which there is no end.” Everything we do and will do while we are alive can take on so much more meaning if examined and accomplished against the background of this richly poetic statement of St. Augustine in his book, City of God. We are never alone. We are not cut off from each other, or from God- unless we forget and are simply not aware. The key is to keep these truths within our awareness, somewhere in the back of our minds. It’s a struggle to do this, sure, but then that is the point of St. Augustine’s book. If one looks at the world realistically, we see that the struggle to love is always going to be there. But look at the successful end result of this struggle! God’s Kingdom is victorious! The City of God is where we will live! Isn’t this worth the struggle?

We have recently graduated our eight grade class; they are and will always be a wonderful group of people- students now and leaders of tomorrow. I can imagine that when the Roman Catholic Church instituted its school system, it was with the sentiment of St. Augustine in mind. If we were to educate our young people with the deep teachings of Christ in mind, teachings that have the power to transform hearts along with minds, then we would be closer to the final establishment of the Kingdom of God. It’s not that the total struggle is up to them; rather, they would be taking over where we left off. Obviously, when we talk about educating people along Catholic lines of thought, we cannot exclude ourselves from the equation. Can there be a day off from this task? When looking at the world situation and the needs that constantly put themselves before our gaze, who can answer “yes?” What has to be kept in mind is that we are not talking about any specific task that we could take a day off. We are talking instead about the constant concerted effort to be as loving as we can. This is the foundation of our lives, and as such becomes the foundation of the City of God. If we can prayerfully aim our lives to be always in love, to be forgiving, patient, encouraging, with our sight always on God, then the needed tasks will become apparent. But if am more loving today than I was yesterday, then today I will notice the task, for yesterday I may have been oblivious to it. Spiritual practice allows us to be aware. Sin narrows our vision, and just does not permit the successful accomplishment of needed tasks. That’s why we can talk about “sin in the world.” Over the centuries, people’s vision has maintained a narrow focus. And Christ continually encourages us to broaden our vision until it becomes easy to see what loving action needs to be done. When that day comes, the City of God is here.

So, we are left with a paradox of sorts. We are all facing vacation time. Yet, on some matters at least, foremost being the practice of our faith, there can never be a vacation. Our students have graduated, yet there is so much more to learn, for them and for us.

Peace, Fr. Walter

William Glasser, MD, is the founder of a psychotherapy system called “Reality Therapy/Choice Theory.” Influenced by the works of several other writers on the make up of the mind, Glasser brought out the notion that each of us has an aspect of our mind called the Quality World. Another way to look at this is the “All-you-want-world.” If you really like, love, admire, desire something, it can be considered as something in your Quality World.

The Quality World is not the only part of our minds that we have. With the Quality World we now loo at or experience the Real World. Right in the middle now, is our Perceived World. We perceive or look at what’s out there and we try to match them up. I can’t get everything I want. Nobody can get everything they want, and this inability leaves us frustrated. This frustration or negative signal demands balancing. The needs motivate us toward satisfying our frustration. Now to the car metaphor, which represents the human person- all of us, mind, body and soul. The front wheels are doing the thinking and the back wheels are feelings and physiology, Back wheels follow front wheels. My frustration is what moves this car to get what I want. But if I don’t understand how my car works, or how I function as a person (same thing), I may only get even more frustrated. I may just allow my frustration to get me angry or depressed. I may end up making really bad decisions in my life. These pastor pages may help us to get a better sense of how to manage ourselves.

As an example, I am angry that I can’t get what I want and I may not know that this feeling that cannot change until I do something different or think something different. Why? Going back to the car analogy, doing and thinking are the front wheels and feeling is a back wheel. And back wheels follow front wheels. As a result of not knowing how I tick, my incorrect concentration on my feelings, as I try this way to feel better and to get rid of my anger or other frustration, I simply end up “spinning my wheels.”

Hmm? How does thinking something different or doing something different help me? Well, maybe there is another way I can satisfy my basic needs of power, love and belonging, fun and freedom?

After all, one definition of insanity is the repetition of the same behavior with the hope of a different result each time. So the mistake here is to think that if I try something 100 times and fail, well, if I try it the 101st time now it will work!!! However, I call this a mistake because if my attempt failed 100 times, it will more than likely fail the 101st time as well. This is what I mean by doing something different and why that may be important to my mental health. Spinning my wheels and getting increasingly frustrated is just not a way to live in this world.

Or, maybe how I satisfy my needs should change? The seven deadly habits that can ruin a relationship are criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing, and rewarding to control. The choice theory alternative to the seven deadly habits are supporting, encouraging, listening, accepting, trusting, respecting, and negotiating differences. I may want something as legitimate to have, but I am using one or more of the seven deadly habits to get it. The result can only be frustration and increasing anger. On the other hand, if I were to “think” out what is wrong with my relationships, I may decide to “do” something different, like say, using one or more of the seven positive habits and find that I can better get what I want that way! Blessing!

Peace, Fr. Walter